Its been 2 years since this page has seen the light of day, Its a sort of unsettling throw back. Its funny to re-read all the old "poems" and the comments made. That two years, it been like a life time.

So much has changed, so much has been acomplished then destroyed and sadly, it was by my own hand. The world has become a terrifying place for me, back when i last wrote i was on top of the world. I had myself a wonderful girl, i had the answers to all the questions, i had a plan and most improtantly a destination. Now i relize how fickle my "life" was.

I witnessed addiction and death, i fell in with the kids that you are told to avoid as a child, and for the longest time, thats all wanted. Drugs, alcohol and sex were my dearest friends, friends that i thought would never betray me. I was dead wrong.

Its funny cause i guess my father knew in his heart of hearts that this would all happen, that my road would be one much like the one that he walked. He was alwyas kind of funny about things, more after me than my brother and i guess i can see why now, he had less to worry about with Jay, it was me who would fall. He would always say to me that i would find myself alone someday and regret all the things i had done. He never really showed me how to avoid that situation, all he could do i guess was pray that i woke up to these facts early in my life, unlike him who woke at 45 and found his life was sota over. His advice to me was always this; "Josh, you need to wake up and fucking relize how little you know, use my life as a fucking example of the shit NOT to do."

I guess i am starting to realize what it was he meant by what not to do, now that i have done almost all of them. I truly am my fathers son.

Now i am thankful that he still had open arms for me, even after i did all this. Fatherly love is sadly out shone for motherly love, somthing that i only tasted as a child. My father will and would always be there for me, and thats something from his life, an example of some shit to ALWAYS do.


I guess thats all for now, im out now but once i get home i have new poetry to put up. Look ma, see how much i've grown?

Peace outie
Brok, bones, ryter and most humbly
Josh